today's a real pain in the rear end. it's just another of those JUST-SHOOT-ME days where i rlli wished i was better of being non-existent. nothing bad in particular occured throughout the day. had lessons as per normal. with my right eye tearing like mad. had drama after school which was just elections. guess what. i was elected P.R.O. that's probably the only good thing that happened all day. i'm in the class comm, and now i'm in the drama comm too. looks pretty good on my testimonial. ain't bad.

after drama got to meet bingg since i was going for hc's syf concert thingy. apparently he could tell i was quite crapped up inside. sorry darling): i was trying to act like everything's ok la but evidently it's stil kinda obvious :X i' m just er. pms-ing??? ya wadever. just ignore me and i'd be ok after a few days at most.

THEN. as we were on our way to hc, i remembered i had to meet alot of ppl at tonight. meet beverly to pass her the book, meet jermz to pass the glitter thing, then daddy oso msged me to say he wanted to see me. like crap my mood much? arrived at hc and saw the banders. like dang it i miss playing in band so so much. saw banders that i knew which made me regret not joining band even more. but even if i did join band in ny, it'd be so different cuz everyone around me would not be the same, not even close to same. i'm looking forward for alumni band prac. although almost 100% i'd not know how to play anymore, but just hope to build up my standard once again. thinking of how i'd not be able to play is like, you know, hopeless. 4 yrs of hard work down the drain. i suppose that's where the phrase "move on" comes in.

i left during the intermission thanks to daddy's wonderful msg. rushed home. to find out. it was nothing. just asking what kinda performance n whether im able to cope with my work. thanks for the migraine dad. it was just so helpful. but at least he drove me to beverly's home to pass her the book. i'd have died if u ask me to walk to her house. i'd just stop at the bus stop on the way home and lie there to slp.

btw, i've decided to work hard and mug during the june hols. i really hope i'd carry it out and am not just spouting nonsense. the most i'd play the first week or something. if i dun do reasonably for mid yrs, my dad's so gonna start restricting me. and by then, i'd wish i'd just die or something. so. yea. no more playing for joanna. i'm gonna coop myself at home, or the most go somwhere to study but that's it.